#185 He is City Lovin'

Weekend I’d Forget

I can cram the events of this past weekend into three acronyms: NYC, AC, SONJ

And for the first time ever, the highlight of the weekend wasn't the food!

Blasphemy, I know!

We started with a 'work dinner’, but dinner with Hubby's coworkers is never a traditional 'work dinner’ it is too much fun to be considered that. We ate at “Blue Water Grill” in Union Square. Part of me was wishing I had come three hours earlier to walk around the area and soak it all in—I love Union Square!

I ordered the scallops and naturally, they were fabulous. However, as I said, the food really wasn’t the highlight. We were seated in the restaurant’s Jazz Dining Room and were only feet away from live entertainment that played everything from classic jazz hits to pop hits with a twist.

Hubby and I were eyeing up the Shellfish Tower that several tables ordered. It was three tiers of the best seafood around. Perhaps next time…

As we headed to our hotel after a little wandering around town, I saw what appeared to be flames. I could only imagine it was a contained, controlled fire and wasn’t worried until we walked closer and there was no one there containing or controlling.

By the time we were across the street from it, we realized a huge garbage container was ablaze and growing by the second. A bouncer at a club across the street stood in the middle of the road shouting the license plate numbers of the car behind and in front of the fire to the hostess in case it was one of their patrons’. We were more concerned with calling the fire department. It certainly appeared as though this wasn’t a regular occurrence on West 36^th street because every passerby stopped what they were doing to stare at the flames. Some people ran past then stopped, gauging just how far away they felt was safe enough to stop and stare in awe. One daredevil stood about two feet from the flames videotaping the fire.

Not exactly the choice I would have made. We stayed to watch the fireman come all while gazing back and forth between the fire and the line of traffic backed up on the street, and then realized our hotel was in spitting distance from the fire. We went up thinking that we would sit and stare down below and then realized we were in the only level of the hotel with angled windows. They were perfect for a dreamy city view, but not perfect for spying down below.

Here is a bit of common sense. While staying in a hotel, if you want to sleep in, you should close the curtains.

In spite of knowing that the blinding sun would wake me up, I couldn’t. I wanted to go to sleep gazing out at the city and wake up to the city.

And I did.

At 5:00 am.

But the view was so worth it.

For breakfast, we headed uptown, way uptown, to Absolute Bagels which you might remember from our short Valentine’s Day trip to the city. We were greeted with a long line and a very, very, cranky man in front of us.

It was also worth it.

Being the foodies we are, we needed good coffee, so we headed to a French pastry shop. Two lattes and a French donut later, we were headed to Central Park to enjoy our goodies.

This was a REAL French donut, folks. Remember the French donut of Le Pain Quotidien that we discovered in Chicago? Let’s just say I referred to the present pastry as a French donut and the authentic Frenchman behind the counter said, “Well, yeah, you could call it that.”

As if spending the night in the city, seeing our first street fire, and walking around west Central Park wasn’t enough, from NYC we headed straight to Atlantic City to meet up again with Hubby’s work buddies. We weren’t just there to gamble, though of course, we did.

Hubby’s coworker, Jason, plays hockey and his team was having their championship games all weekend. I have only been to one hockey game in my life, and I loved every minute of it. So I was a little over eager to go to the game.

I did, however, forget that even though it is starting to feel like summer in New Jersey, it will always feel like winter in a skating rink. I was the smart one who wore flip flops that day.

Go ahead and laugh. I deserve it.

Here’s where you’re going to think we are absolutely wild and crazy. We drove home somewhere around 12:30 am from Atlantic City to hop in bed and wake up five hours later to go to Gloucester County, NJ for Jonathan’s last Special Olympics swim meet before the Summer Games.

I’ve always been a night owl, but it has been a while since I pulled two days of nonstop activity paired with two nights of five hours or less sleep.

But New York City, work friends, Atlantic City, and Jonathan are all worth it.

This is somewhere around the four hundred and ninety bazillionth swim meet I have attended. I sometimes go with my old hat face on. We’re going to watch Jon swim, we’re going to be excited for him, we’re going to go out to eat and celebrate no matter what.

In his first race he swam his little heart out and legitimately earned his gold medal. I say legitimately because there have been times he was only competing against himself. In that case, earning a gold medal merely means that he swam. This time it meant he pushed past the other two competitors in his division.

The Special Olympics motto is, “Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.”

I wish all competitors could adopt this motto. It has become a mantra for me along with Habit Four of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “Think Win/Win, Everyone Can Win”.

This was put into action as Jonathan’s 50-meter relay, the dead last heat of the day, took place. I used to feel bad for the people that had to stick out the swim meets until the last event and here we were, sticking it out. Surprisingly, there were still several fans there. Jonathan swam first and was lagging a little behind, but the next two swimmers caught his team up. When the final swimmer, who couldn’t have been more than ten, went to swim, he swam one length of the pool and stopped.

“Go back!!” was screamed from the stands.

We watched as this little guy stopped at the edge of the pool, turned and then swam a few feet. He stopped, swam to the ropes and waited. He slowly pushed himself a little further, then stopped and clung to the ropes again, contemplating the water, looking as though he might not finish the race at all.

This is often the point where the winners’ families all turn away and leave, and the coaches and volunteers for the finished teams start to walk toward the area that medals are given. The families of the lagging team are left standing alone in the stands.

But not this day.

No one moved from the stands. Everyone was already standing from cheering for their teams, and now they all cheered with one common goal—to get this little guy to the finish. The coaches and volunteers crowded around the end of his lane, and just about everyone in the room cheered and clapped for the athlete and the team that would take last place.

“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” is a famous quote of UCLA Bruins football coach Henry Russell "Red" Sanders. 

My guess is that Mr. Sanders never saw a Special Olympics competition where winning isn’t the focus, but the people behind the sport are what is most important.

Winning should be secondary. People are primary. This weekend, I knew that to be true.

#133 He Lets Me Take a Break

Mid-May until end of June was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it span of time.  There was so much going on.  There were so many things I wanted to write about.  Yet, there was also only so much time.  I could jump into what has been currently going on with me (my recent Vegas trip?--oh yes, there is plenty to say about that!), but first, I would hate to ignore all the perfectly fantastic things that have already transpired.

First...

My brother, Jonathan, competed for his final season with his SONJ swim team, The Pioneers.  Since he graduated this year, he'll have to join a different team next season.  It's sad, but exciting, but still sad.

Jonathan spent a better part of the Saturday competition day dancing to music that made my ears hum for two days.

Next...

My sister-in-law, my brother, my Gram, and I sat by Gram's pool at a table on the patio under an umbrella (yikes, so many prepositions!) as a passing thunderstorm came by while we were attempting to get the pool open for summer.  Instead of running inside as the drops pattered on, we huddled closer together at the table.  I'm chalking it up as a family bonding moment.

Then...

Hubby turned 30.  I know, I know, he's super old.  Thank God I decided to stay 25 forever.  I can't imagine what he feels like.  

We went to our favorite restaurant in the entire world, so far, to celebrate.  I'm not sure what it is about Oyster Bay Restaurant in Cape May, okay wait, that's a lie, I do know what it is and it's pictured above.  If you love filet mignon, crab meat, and Bearnaise sauce, holy moly, PLEASE go there immediately.  It is absolutely my favorite meal I've ever experienced in my life.  I've ordered steaks Oscar Style (with crab meat and Bearnaise sauce) several places, but Oyster Bay has it down to a science.  An incredibly delicious science.

Next...

I said goodbye to my Kindergarten classroom forever.  I've said goodbye to several jobs before, but this one cracked my heart a little.  I've had quite a time trying to discover what I was made for in life, and I've discovered that being a Kindergarten teacher was one of the things sitting at the top of the list.

And then...

Jonathan graduated high school.  First, he received an award for perfect attendance.  To any ordinary person, such an award would probably not be that great a deal.  In my home growing up, it was expected.  For starters, my mother would never let us stay home from school.  Ever.  If you didn't have a fever and/or you weren't barfing, there was nothing, no matter of begging, no pleading your case that could convince her as to why you should be at home instead of in school.

Thank you for your sympathy.

Therefore, Jonathan receiving perfect attendance was, as you can imagine, quite an achievement.  

I think he actually was more of a ham on the stage than my brother, Joel, was when he graduated.  And Joel walked down wearing Hulk gloves.

Yes, my family is a special breed of strange.

Later...

As soon as Jonathan had his diploma in hand, I screamed, hugged him, plopped an Olaf doll into his arms, and then hopped in the car with Hubby and his coworker for a road trip to Indiana.

We stopped about three hours into our trip in Bedford, PA at the Jean Bonnet Tavern.

And...

I ate this beautiful masterpiece.  I had been craving scallops, but this was supposed to be my lunch, even though I was having it around 5:00 pm.  That said, I had gone into the restaurant with the intention of having a sandwich.  

But who can resist pan seared diver sea scallops in a basil pesto sauce served over fresh asparagus, tomato, and orzo?

Not me.

A little later...

Hubby, Gram, and I boarded a plane for Vegas less than twelve hours later after returning home from Indiana.

Our view from the hotel room was perfect.*

Another thing of perfection were the desserts at the different buffets.  I'm not too big on the whole buffet scene, but I do love being able to nibble on a variety of desserts.  These were fantastic.  

By the way, that is a chocolate truffle cake pop.  

Be still my heart.

*Have no fear, there is more to come on my trip to Vegas.**

**I'm sure you are on the edge of your seat in suspension.

Finally...

The day after we returned from Vegas, we celebrated my boy's graduation.  Back when we planned our Vegas trip it should have fallen two weeks after the end of school.  All the whacked out Jersey snow pushed the end of school right up to the start of our vacation.  We were on pins and needles for a little thinking that Jonathan's graduation might end up being scheduled during our trip.

Thank goodness that didn't happen.

But either way, I wouldn't have missed his party for the world.

We had a pig.

And it was an oh-my-goodness-melt-in-your-mouth-meat pig.

As tradition with any parties involving Jonathan go, we also had a pie in the face. 

Two innocent men dressed in blue.

Pie in hand, ready to be delivered.

Jonathan is in the zone.

And, whack!

Jonathan!  There's something stuck to your face!

Oh, that's better.

He sat there, then stood, for a good three minutes before deciding he needed to wipe the whipped cream off.

Of course, there was more dancing and singing to be had before the party could come to a close.

#68 He Treats Family Right

At the opening ceremonies for the Special Olympics summer games a lot of important people spoke.  Among them were important members of The Special Olympics New Jersey, the president of the The College of New Jersey (where it was held), some political figure within some realm for New Jersey, and the new football coach at Rutgers University.

Try and figure that one out, the football coach of Rutgers speaking at an event held at The College of New Jersey.

I know nothing about football, so that comment might mean actually nothing.

Or everything.

Don't tell me though because I don't really care.

Yet of all the people that stood before the microphone that night, he was the second one that made an impact on me.  (He just couldn't beat the girl with Down syndrome who sang the national anthem.  She wins, always and forever).

If I had stopped listening for a moment, I would have missed out on one of the best lessons ever.  He said it so fast that I instantly had to pull out my phone and write it down because they were words I never ever want to forget.

He told the crowd of families and fans of Special Olympics athletes that at Rutgers the one thing he tries to instill in his football players is FAMILY: Forget About Me I Love You.

Forget

About

Me

I

Love 

You

With my siblings, Thanksgiving 2010

I was stunned.  Isn't that, after all, really what family should be?  Yet so often we get it all wrong.  We make it: forget about you I love me.  Shame on us.

I say 'we' and 'us' because I am definitely at fault for this.  Far too often I allow my own agenda, my own hurt feelings, my own wants and desires to cast a shadow on my love for others.  The image I then paint for them is that I care only about myself.  My intent might not be that.  But that is the message I send.

With my in laws, Christmas 2011

What does "forget about me" mean?  It is selflessness.  It is the recognition that others matter, no matter how great or how small they are.  

Living in such a matter, forgetting about me, we should be able to make all around us "family".  Recognizing that we are not here to accomplish personal agendas, but to get along with those we encounter in our daily lives.  To make them feel important.  To make them feel like they matter.  If we live in such a manner, we may not always get our way, we may not always be happy, but we probably will help more people than hurt them.

My parents, Christmas 2011

It's hard.  I can't say that since hearing those words I've lived 100% forgetful of myself.  But every part of me wants to.  I imagine that when I start to live forgetting about me and begin to care more for others that I will in the end reap much more than if I continued to stress over things that I want.  Because instead I will be able to look upon others I've helped, those who I have supported rather than neglected, and know that I treated them the best way that I knew how to.

My Wedding 2007, sorry for the scary eyes.

Does it mean I will never stand up for myself?  No.  It just means I will always pick my battles according to what shows the other person that regardless of how I am feeling I still love them.  

Am I hurting someone by what I am saying?  

Am I treating them the way I want to be treated?

Am I showing them that the ultimate reason of conflict is because they matter so much to me?

I matter.  I am important.  But, others matter and are important too.

Forget about me.  I love you.

At Jonathan's School Play, Christmas 2011

#57 He Supports SONJ

My brother, Jonathan, is one of the most incredible people I know.  Every year he participates in the Special Olympics of New Jersey's summer events.  It is a weekend filled with a variety of competitions quite unlike that seen in most sports arenas across America.

Maybe it's because they all hold true to the following creed:

"Let me win.  But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt."  ~Special Olympics NJ

It began on Friday, June 8th, with Opening Ceremonies held at The College of New Jersey.

This is what the football field looked like when we got there:

After a little waiting, it transformed to this:

To help you better understand what waiting in the stands (on one of the hottest evenings so far this summer) looked like, I have a progression of three photos:

I love my family.

So, after wasting a lot of disc space taking wacky photos, the fun soon began.  The athletes were led in by the Pipes and Drums of the NJ DOC and the Port Authority Police.

Who were then followed by streams of officers.

Over 2,000 athletes then filled the field grouped according to their county.  This group in neon yellow is my particular favorite.  My little cutie is near the end of the line.

Take a close look.  I think he may have heard me screaming for him.

I had to get a shot of this group though.  The girl to the bottom right depicts the attitude of every athlete who competes in the summer games.

Then the torch bearers came.

And the cauldron was lit.

As great as they are, these pictures can't truly convey the overall feeling of the weekend.

The Special Olympics gives us all a chance to be the best version of ourselves that we possibly can be.

At the Special Olympics you are surrounded by those who do this daily: the athletes.  While the world might label them "intellectually disabled", these children and adults are happier and kinder than anyone I've ever met who is labeled "normal".

During the two days I spent at the Special Olympics, I found myself waiting a little more patiently.  I walked a little prouder.  I smiled a little more frequently.  I cheered a little louder.  I hugged those whose names I didn't even know and was more pleased with life than anywhere I've ever been on earth.

#49 He Does Something Extra

I can't believe I missed this, but it's better late than never.

March 21st was World Down Syndrome Day. This is the first year that the United Nations is recognizing this date. For me, for many, that is super exciting news.

My youngest brother, Jonathan, has Down syndrome. He is one of the best parts of my life, hands down. In fact, I might even say the best part of my life, but I don't want the other best parts of my life to get jealous.

Grab This Button

The National Down Syndrome Society is looking to raise awareness and support of individuals with Down syndrome. It's taken me some time, but I'm pretty sure this might also be part of my life calling. As I was growing up, my mom would tell me I should work with children with special needs. Upon such a notion I would instantly say no, explaining that it would simply be too emotional for me.

Maybe sometimes we need to grasp things that cause us to be emotional, rather than run away from them.

I'm a firm believer that God puts specific things in our lives for reasons unique to who we are as individuals. Jonathan is in my life because I needed him. In fact, I need him a lot more than he needs me.

Everyday I marvel at who he is becoming. As I try to mother him, I get smacked in the face with the realization of how independent he is learning to be. Each day I learn more and more about the way he thinks, I see how his brain works, and recognize that he has so much to say and give to the world if the world would only give him a chance.

When I introduce Jonathan to someone or talk about him to someone who does not know him, I recognize how limited the world's knowledge on individuals with Down syndrome is. One of the first questions people will ask is, "Does he talk?". A legitimate question indeed, considering there are those who cannot, but an unfair question due to the amount of individuals with Down syndrome who can. Yes, he can talk. He can talk a lot. But, you have to be patient and selfless in order to get the answers you want.

And when that happens, I realize that his abilities have the possibility to soar to amazing heights that I once thought unreachable.

And perhaps, in all this, my part is to spread the word. To make others aware of how awesome someone with Down syndrome can be, if you allow them to be.

(Jonathan at his Special Olympics swimming competition, March 2012.)