Sunday, October 2, 2011

#29 He Hates a Nagging Wife

Unfortunately, the words nag and woman seem to be synonymous. No one ever instantly pictures a man when they reminisce on someone who at some time has persistently nagged them to do something. One might even think that nagging is something all women are born with, an unavoidable part of them, something they are doomed to from the start, similar to the menstrual cycle.

Some men can deal with it, others run from it like the plague, and still others rebel against it. My husband is the latter. I learned within the first few months of our marriage that if I wanted something done or if I felt the need to remind him of something he was supposed to do, nagging would guarantee that it would not happen.

Nagging is a habit that is nurtured. We have the ability to turn it on and to turn it off. I've chosen to leave mine turned off.

In doing so, I myself feel less frustrated because I don't say the same thing over and over and over again, I learn how to creatively ask my husband to do the things I want done, and I learn to express to him that I will not remind him again about doing the things he wants done.

Something I have wanted done for probably two years now, and has been a thorn in my side ever since, lies with a simple, but important, kitchen appliance: the microwave. Our microwave is a mondo microwave. It is the type of microwave you expect to be in an office break room, a coffee house, or in the "19 Kids and Counting" family's home. It is much larger than necessary and only came into our possession because of the stupidity of Lance's first college roommate (not a story worth repeating for the sake of all parties involved).

The trouble that began to occur was that this mondo microwave would blow a circuit no matter what when plugged into the outlet closest to it. It got to the point that we had to pull out this hose sized extension cord and drag it across the room (to the only other outlet) in order to use the microwave. We'd unplug it and roll it up whenever the microwave was not in use to spare any person crossing through the kitchen from the possibility of tripping over it and falling to death by extension cord.

Then I got this thought. Couldn't we put a shelf over the stove (where the other outlet was) and then have the microwave right near the outlet we'd been constantly having to connect it to? It would be a win win situation because not only would the inconvenience of the cord be gone, but also, I'd have about six by three feet of space back.

Original set up of mondo micro:
(I had to use this picture from my last post because I didn't decide to write about this until the original set up had already been dismantled. Therefore, skeleton feet are included.)

Finally, it happened. We went to Lowe's to get a rod so that these cutesy curtains I'd made could be put in place to hide the disgust that is a kitchen trashcan. Then, without any suggestion from me (honestly!) my husband went and also picked up the materials he'd need to make my life in the kitchen heaven.
(Note: He also added a hook so that my awesome apron could hang all by itself looking loverly).

The final product:
I was pretty much in love all over again.

This new wonderfulness brought about another need for me: what to do with that empty space where the microwave once stood. My husband feels that less is more. Without me, he'd be one of those bachelors living in a condo that has two pieces of awesome, yet simple furniture in each room. Minimalism. That's great, but I'm a woman. We like our trinkets, our baskets, and our signs (Yes, in fact, I do want you to 'Always Kiss me Goodnight' in fact, every night.)

The spot where the microwave was:
The yellow mini-hutch (one of my top 3 favorite pieces of furniture we own)
went into the dining room causing the dining room to be completely transformed:
(And, he hung those two stars up for me that night too!)

Without my nagging for something to be done, I feel like he always goes above and beyond whatever it is I want to happen. Maybe the whole nagging thing works for some couples, for men who need their woman to remind them constantly about things, but what I would recommend to all, naggers and non-naggers, is to consider your tone. That's always been the beginning of my downfall. While when you want something done you may consider it to be earth shatteringly important, others will not always recognize it as that. Therefore, don't speak to them as if they should see things like you do. Calm reminders, peaceful observations, and creative conversation are all ways to get what you want done without nagging.

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