Friday, February 6, 2015

#170 He Would Never


March for Life was a few weeks ago.

I really wanted to post something on that day, but the words just weren't there.

Because while my heart breaks for the children who are murdered by their mothers because they are not wanted, my heart breaks even more for the children who are murdered by their mothers because they aren't good enough.

Amniocentesis testing has for years now been giving mothers an excuse to terminate their pregnancies. This prenatal test checks for any fetal abnormalities such as cystic fibrosis, spina bifida, and Down syndrome. The possibility that their child could be born different than a 'typical' child apparently is a good enough reason for murder. I hear it again and again and again, instances where the test showed a fetal abnormality and the doctor immediately suggested an abortion. But here's the kicker: Regardless of the fact that abortion in and of itself is wrong, in many cases the child presumed to be not good enough for life because of an apparent disability in the end is born with no disability and perfect health. I know personally of two mothers who were told their child WOULD, not might, WOULD have Down syndrome and when that baby's birth date came that extra chromosome somehow disappeared.

I could go on and on about this and my strong feelings towards amniocentesis testing, towards doctor's practically forcing abortions on mothers, and towards wanting to help women who feel lost when given a Down syndrome diagnosis. But I'll save that for later.

Ordinarily, I try to keep the mood of this blog light. I try not to take any stances, or say anything that might offend.

But today I'm offended. 

Today I read an article about a woman who dared to say that she wishes every day that 47 years ago she had aborted her son with Down syndrome. (This was after I'd read the highly popular article today of the man who had to choose between his wife and his newly born child. Spoiler alert: The baby was born with Down syndrome).

If only I could meet this woman.

First, I would have to resist the urge to let out a bunch of unintelligible shrieks meant to be words. Then I would tell her the truth of the matter.

She doesn't deserve her son.

She says that her life would be so different, so much better, without her son.

But goodness, I could say that about the fact that I was born the only girl in a family with three boys.

There are so many men and woman who recognize the value of any life. There are countless numbers of men and women who would have loved and cherished her son for who he is, regardless of his diagnosis, that I can only see her statement as ignorant. 

Great. She toughed it all out, she put her life on hold for him. But as the article's author states, "Would you want to spend time with someone who wants you dead?"

In addition, such a statement mocks those who have stood up to say what a positive impact their child, brother, sister, etc with Down syndrome has had on their lives. If you follow this blog, you've heard about my brother, Jonathan. Are there things about my life that would be easier without Jonathan? Certainly. Then again, there are things in my life that would be easier if I was an only child, or if I had been born to Queen Elizabeth. Are any of them worth it? No. Flipping. Way.

I'm going to end this post with a confession. 

My heart doesn't just break for this; my heart is shattered over it.

In my perfect world, I'd be able to adopt and care for each and every baby born with Down syndrome who wasn't wanted. Abortion wouldn't need to be an option, because at the diagnosis of Down syndrome to a mother who ordinarily would immediately sign for abortion, I'd be there to sign for care of their child.

A few years ago, I dreamed up this community where children with Down syndrome could be adopted or fostered. Then I learned that a community, not exactly but in the same vein as my vision, actually exists. Pathfinder Village is a community where individuals with Down syndrome live. They "promote a healthy, progressive environment that respects the individual, supporting a life of value and independence". 

But this still isn't exactly my vision. At first, my dream was to have a place that would essentially be like an orphanage or foster village for children with Down syndrome. But it would be more than just that. It would be an outreach to women. It would be a place that educates and helps women to recognize that a prenatal testing should never be the end of the road. After visiting Pathfinder, I realized that though there is an issue regarding abortion of children with Down syndrome, there are generally no issues among mothers who choose life (the woman from this article being the exception). The issues occur in adulthood when parents are either too old to care for their child or their child needs more activity/community available to them. As Jonathan gets older, I recognize more and more that he needs more opportunities to be out and about utilizing his personality and love for people.

This may all sound a jumble, because that is my reality. My heart is burdened for those with Down syndrome because my heart has been impacted by someone with Down syndrome. I know I want to start a nonprofit benefiting those with Down syndrome, but I also know that means I need a business plan, I need money, and I need others who will be equally as committed to this cause.

So why expose my dreams if there is nothing currently being done? 

Because this article I have shared got me heated. It sparked inside of me the aggravation I feel every single time I hear that a doctor suggested aborting a child simply because a test showed they would have Down syndrome.

And though I need a plan, money, and supporters, more than anything I need prayers. I need direction. I need a focus. I need clarity.

I don’t think God would place something on my heart to have me fail, or worse, never even start

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