Sunday, May 15, 2011

#10 He Will Go To The Ends of The Earth To Get Me What I "Need"

Commercials, weekly circulars, billboards--they are all catered to me. It doesn't matter what the product is, I gravitate towards advertisements. New things excite me. Different things interest me. Bright colors pull me in. It was therefore no small wonder when the Pier One Imports circular pulled me into their store after I probably had not set foot into one in over a year. (P.S. There is a reason for this. I do love Pier One, however, cannot go there unless I have, oh, a few hundred dollars to just "throw" around.) But, there it sat, perfectly placed, in the corner of their circular entirely composed of bright pinks, oranges, yellows, and just about every possible springy, girlie color: an apron. An apron, you say? Shouldn't the image of a housewife slaving over a hot stove spring to mind, and the apron she dons is one of sturdy polyester and only available in one color: puke brown? No. Housewives of America this does not need to be the picture you are part of. I had for some time been seeking the perfect apron that personified me as a stylish housewife, ready to please her husband. And then Pier One created it, specifically for me. So after a family dinner, my husband, my sister-in-law and I hopped in the car to go to our local Pier One.

The time? 7:00 pm. Plenty of shopping time, considering we were only going to one store. We arrived and I used my keen shopping intuition to instantly sense out where the aprons were hanging and began digging for what I needed. Upon first glimpse I thought I'd found it, but it turned out that they had a similar style in a half body apron. So I tried to make it work. I wrapped it around my waist, posed and practiced moving about in it, yet even before asking my husband his opinion I knew--it was cute, but wasn't what I had been seeking. So I approached the management and had them get on the search for my apron. After getting my hopes up that they might actually have the item in the store (and after an hour in the store) the manager told me that another close by location has four in stock.

The manager told me the location was close and that I should definitely be able to get there before closing if I wanted to go tonight. The time at that moment? 8:20. Pier One's closing time? 9:00. Now you have to know, I have worked retail. I know what it is like to have someone come into the store minutes before closing to shop. You want to slap them, then yell at them, then lock them out and tell them never to return. But I also realized the importance of making this purchase as soon as possible due to the fact that clearly the rest of the world loved my apron as much as me and it was selling out.

Ordinary husbands would have ended all hope at that moment. Drive to another location just for an apron, are you kidding? My husband looked at me and said, "Do you wanna go?"

My natural woman response said, "I don't know. It's late. They're closing."

Moments later our sights were set on the other Pier One. But of course since time already wasn't on our side we added an extra hitch into the situation. We start out headed the wrong way on the highway, clearly because we just felt like making a u-turn. This great start was followed by driving to where we thought the other location was to find out that nope, it wasn't there. At this point I would have turned around. Especially considering that 9:00 was creeping up more quickly than slowly. Then after deciding the correct direction of the highway to head towards we missed the entrance to Pier One due to a highway exit located right in front of the store and an obnoxiously long median separating the road from the exit.

Another u-turn it is. I'm rolling my eyes at this point, embarrassed for the fact that I will be annoying the Pier One associates by coming in right at closing time, that is, if we even arrived before closing time.

But believe it or not, I ended up walking into the store five minutes before 9:00 pm. I instantly found the aprons and, no apron. I started thinking that it might be possible that I created this apron up in my head and that in actuality it did not exist, but the circular that I had all but super glued to my hand said different.

I then approached the sales lady who after checking the same section I just scoured starts looking in the system and then tells me she thinks that the other store confused the items. Or, perhaps they put it in their system wrong. But four aprons in stock? This just seems wrong. It seems impossible. I had all but given up hope and walked out the door ready to be depressed the entire night when the manager walked out of the stock room (halo shining on her head I might add) and asks me what I'm looking for. The sales lady tells her. The manager then walks to the apron area, digs around, and finds my apron, folded up and hidden in a nearby basket. Yes, some workers clearly not intent on selling aprons had decided not to unfold the aprons and put them out on display. I then showered the manager with my praises and give the sales lady the "eye" of disapproval.

The best part, second to now having the most wonderful apron in the world, the price:

Now that is a deal that you can't beat with a stick. (P.S. Why would you beat an awesome deal with a stick?)

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