Thursday, June 14, 2012

#58 He is Moses, I am Aaron

I often tell my family that my hubby is Moses and I'm Aaron.  If you are familiar with the Biblical story of Moses and Aaron, pardon me while I digress for a moment.

Moses had been chosen by God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.  Yet, despite this divine appointment he felt unable to speak in front of others.  Therefore, the Lord chose Moses' brother, Aaron, to be a mouthpiece for Moses.

While Lance isn't afraid to speak as Moses was, I often find myself communicating feelings of his that he would not choose to express on his own, specifically to my family members.  Whether it be out of convenience or due to his laid-back-go-with-the-flow nature, the energetic bug-eyed personality of myself refuses to let my hubby's feelings go unheard, especially with his best friend, my brother, Joel.

I've recently realized that as Lance and I are like Moses and Aaron, Joel and I are like Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday.  (I'm sure you are wondering the connection between these religious personalities and notorious westerners.  Stop wondering, there is no connection).  

First Day of School, 2002 (My senior year)

Joel became Lance's closest friend over the course of our five years dating.  When we first started dating, Joel was 11 and hated Lance.  

Yes, hated.

He would pester and follow us around, all simply for the point of being a nuisance.  In later years, I'd learn from Joel that deep down he was really just upset that this guy had shown up out of nowhere and taken his dear sister away from him.  

But somewhere in my growing relationship with my soon-to-be hubby, Joel grew up.  And he went from being an annoying brother to someone we both actually wanted to be around.  He  became someone my hubby and I could both call best friend.  

For me, he was someone whose personality meshed well with mine.  Someone who understood me, and even when he didn't understand me he still empathized with me.

Growing up, I had best friends and close friends like any typical child.  In high school, I had my circle of friends.  Yet, once I met my hubby the world shifted, a lot.  Some friends I lost, others got placed on the back burner, yet few in the end stayed true.   

Joel and Me, 2008

Joel became my Wyatt Earp during the first year I was married.  He had always been, I just didn't realize it.  For some time I had been feeling a little down on myself because I didn't have many friends.  I had "friends" but not friends like I'd once had before.  Lance was my best friend.  We would hang out with my brothers (but they were just brothers, right?) and that was pretty much it.  It had been fine in the beginning of our relationship, but I soon began to feel like there was something wrong with me for having my everything be only him.  (I now know better).

The first year we were married I worked as a merchandiser for Fossil, Inc.  It was an incredible job to have right out of college.  I set up displays in various Macy's stores and when I was done I went home.  

I went home a lot.  

My plan was to use the time I got home from work early to work on writing.  Yet, somehow every single time I came home I'd get a call from Joel asking to come over or go somewhere and I'd always cave in, decide I didn't really want to write that day anyway, and head over to be with him.

Looking back, I'm so much happier that I put time into us than into just me.

In the end of the movie, "Tombstone," Doc Holliday is dying of tuberculosis, yet, he is still running around with a gang of Earp's men to try and gain vengeance and defeat the gang that murdered Earp's brother.  One of Earp's men, Turkey Creek Jack Johnson (great name, right?) says to Doc after he has just hacked up a good amount of blood, "Why you doin' this, Doc?"

Doc answers, "Because Wyatt Earp is my friend,"

Turkey Creek says, "Well, hell, I've got lots of friends,"

Doc says, "....I don't."

I'm not so down on myself anymore feeling that I don't have friends.  Now I have  friends, but, truth be told, I don't have many Wyatt Earp friends.  There is an underlying bond to a Wyatt Earp friend.  Something that makes them a little higher than the rest.  Something that makes them worth giving anything for.

It's important in friendships to strive to be Doc Hollidays: friends willing to give up anything for their friends; but we also need to be Wyatt Earps: friends worth giving up anything for.  

Joel and Me, 2011

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